Psychologist Anna Heal

Marcus, it is understandable that after retiring, you would seek new interests to fill your time and provide stimulation. Your recent intense focus on watching ballroom dancing videos reflects a shift in your daily routines and possibly an emotional response to the transition from your professional life. While enjoying something new and engaging like this can be enriching, spending 4 to 5 hours daily and noticing it disrupts your sleep and relationships are important signals that the habit has grown beyond casual enjoyment into an area that requires attention.

It is not uncommon for people in retirement to gravitate toward absorbing activities that provide structure or a sense of excitement. Your interest in competitive ballroom dancing, despite not participating yourself, might be fulfilling a need for intellectual engagement, beauty, or community belonging. However, when this activity replaces previous social interactions like golf and family dinners, and induces irritability and anxiety when reduced, it suggests that the behavior could be becoming a form of compulsive habit rather than balanced leisure.

To regain balance, consider gradually moderating your video watching by setting specific time limits and creating a daily schedule that reintroduces varied activities, especially those involving social connections and physical movement. Perhaps you could explore taking some ballroom dancing lessons yourself, which might satisfy your fascination in a more interactive and physically engaging way that also promotes social contact. Engaging with your wife and friends about your interest and seeking their support in moderating the habit can help create a supportive environment for healthier boundaries.

Also, it’s important to reflect on what emotions or needs this intense interest might be addressing. Retirement can sometimes bring feelings of loss of purpose or loneliness, and hobbies that absorb us might be an unconscious way to manage these feelings. If you find it challenging to regain balance despite your efforts, or if anxiety and irritability worsen, consulting a psychologist for guidance on coping strategies and emotional adjustment in retirement could be very helpful.

Ultimately, you do not need to completely give up the enjoyment of competitive ballroom dancing videos, but incorporating it as one of many fulfilling activities and ensuring it does not interfere with your well-being and relationships is key to maintaining a healthy lifestyle.