Psychologist Anna Heal

Hello Maya, thank you for sharing your experience. It is completely understandable to feel this way, and your feelings are valid. Many people experience a shift in how they handle stress at different life stages, and what you are describing is a common yet challenging pattern of anxiety that has become more intense and intrusive in your daily life.

First, it is crucial to understand that anxiety is not a sign of weakness. The physiological responses you describe, like a racing heart and difficulty focusing, are your body's alarm system being triggered too frequently. Over time, our nervous system can become sensitized, meaning it reacts more strongly to stressors that we previously managed. This is not a failure of resilience but a signal that your current coping strategies may need updating. The fear of catastrophic outcomes is a hallmark of anxiety, where the mind jumps to the worst-case scenario, bypassing more likely, manageable realities.

To manage this, we can explore several avenues. Since deep breathing alone is not sufficient, we can look at building a more robust toolkit. Cognitive restructuring is a core technique where you learn to identify and challenge the automatic negative thoughts that fuel your panic. For instance, when an unexpected change occurs, instead of spiraling into catastrophe, you can practice asking yourself, What is the actual evidence for this feared outcome? What is a more balanced, realistic perspective? This takes practice but can gradually reduce the intensity of the anxiety response.

Another important aspect is behavioral activation. Anxiety often leads to avoidance, which in turn increases anxiety. Creating a structured daily routine that includes scheduled worry time can be helpful. Set aside 15 minutes each day to write down all your fears and potential problems. Outside of that time, when anxious thoughts arise, gently remind yourself you have a time to address them later. This can help contain the rumination that disrupts your sleep.

Given the impact on your sleep, establishing a consistent sleep hygiene ritual is vital. This involves creating a wind-down routine an hour before bed, avoiding screens, and using the bed only for sleep. If you lie awake with racing thoughts, get out of bed and do a quiet, non-stimulating activity until you feel sleepy again. This helps break the association between bed and anxiety.

Furthermore, consider the role of lifestyle factors. Regular physical activity, even a daily walk, can significantly modulate the nervous system. Paying attention to nutrition and limiting caffeine and sugar, which can exacerbate anxiety symptoms, is also beneficial.

While I provide psychological strategies, it is always advisable to consult with your primary care physician to rule out any underlying physical health contributors to your symptoms, such as thyroid issues or perimenopausal hormonal shifts, which are relevant at your age. They can ensure there is no medical component to your increased anxiety.

Finally, please know that seeking support is a strength. Working with a psychologist in a structured way, such as through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), is highly effective for the exact patterns you describe. It provides a safe space to understand the roots of your worry, develop personalized coping skills, and rebuild a sense of competence and calm. You have managed a demanding career for years; this is about refining your tools, not starting from scratch. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you learn these new skills.