Psychologist Anna Heal

Thank you for describing this so clearly, Maya. From what you write, you are experiencing a constellation of symptoms that can occur with several overlapping possibilities, including major depressive episodes, burnout, and the lingering effects of past disordered eating and anxiety. The way you describe persistent low mood, loss of interest in activities you previously enjoyed, changes in eating and sleep, low energy, poor concentration, and intrusive negative thoughts suggests that clinical depression is a strong possibility, but context and duration matter, and burnout or adjustment difficulties after big changes (moving, changing majors) can produce similar patterns.

First, in terms of assessment and next steps, consider a two-pronged approach: an immediate safety and symptom check, and a fuller functional and diagnostic assessment. For safety, because you report intrusive negative thoughts about being a failure but explicitly no active plans to harm yourself, it is still important to monitor risk. If thoughts about harming yourself become frequent, detailed, or you begin to feel you might act on them, seek urgent care or a crisis line right away. Outside of crisis, start with a structured screening: many clinicians use brief self-report measures such as the PHQ-9 (for depressive symptoms) and GAD-7 (for anxiety) as initial checks. These are not diagnostic on their own but help indicate severity and whether immediate treatment is recommended.

Second, pursue a clinical evaluation with a mental health professional. A psychologist or licensed therapist can conduct a more thorough assessment of mood, sleep, appetite, concentration, anhedonia, functional impact on school and relationships, and past psychiatric history. Because you have a history of disordered eating, a clinician with experience in eating disorders or at least familiarity with that history is helpful, since eating behaviors interact with mood and energy. If you have access to your university counseling center, that can be a good first contact; alternatively, seek a community psychologist or licensed clinical social worker for an intake assessment.

Regarding medication versus therapy versus lifestyle changes, there is no single correct order for everyone. If your symptoms are moderate to severe, or if screening tools show significant depressive symptoms, combining psychotherapy with a medication evaluation often provides the most reliable improvement. Since you are asking about medication, remember that only a psychiatrist, primary care doctor, or other medical prescriber can evaluate and prescribe medications. Because you are seeking psychological support only, a reasonable path is to begin therapy while arranging a medical evaluation if depressive symptoms are medium to severe or worsening. Evidence-based psychotherapies for depression include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and behavioral activation, which specifically target motivation and re-engagement in valued activities. Given your artistic identity, an approach that integrates behavioral activation with creative goals may feel more personally meaningful.

Because you mentioned irregular eating and a past eating disorder, be mindful that some medications can affect appetite and weight. If medication is being considered, inform the prescriber about your eating history so they can weigh options appropriately. If your eating patterns are a significant current problem or you have a history of serious disordered eating, consider concurrent specialty support from someone experienced in eating disorders.

Practical, immediate steps you can try now to reduce distress and regain some rhythm include setting very small, achievable goals and using structure to rebuild routines. For example, set a modest daily schedule that includes a planned wake time, a brief movement session or walk, one small nutritious snack or meal prepared in an easy way, and a short sketching goal (ten minutes in your sketchbook). The aim is not to force grand output but to trigger the brain’s reward circuits through repetition. Use timers and environmental cues: leave your sketchbook visible, place a mug of tea nearby, or go to a cafe for a short hour if you can tolerate that environment. Behavioral activation works by linking simple actions to mood improvements over time.

Also prioritize sleep hygiene: try to stabilize your sleep-wake times, reduce evening screen time, and create a calming pre-sleep routine. Address social withdrawal gently: let a close friend know you’re struggling so they can offer low-pressure connection, or schedule a brief weekly catch-up rather than open-ended availability. Reduce perfectionistic demands around your creative work; allow imperfect sketches and play without judging the outcome. You might use prompts or constraints to make drawing easier, such as a 5-minute timed study or copying a simple object, which can reduce the barrier to starting.

Therapeutic options to consider include weekly psychotherapy focused on depression and behavioral activation, possibly combined with practices from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) to reconnect with values (artistic identity) and reduce experiential avoidance. If therapy alone does not bring meaningful improvement in several weeks to months, or if your symptoms are severe at baseline, a medication consultation is reasonable. Antidepressant medications can be effective for moderate to severe depression; the decision should be collaborative, weighing symptom severity, your preferences, side effect risks, and your eating disorder history.

As for signs that require urgent care, the red flags include clear, frequent, or escalating thoughts of self-harm or suicide, detailed plans or means to act, sudden withdrawal beyond what you already describe combined with new impulsivity, severe changes in appetite or weight indicating medical risk, or inability to care for basic needs over several days. If any of those appear, contact emergency services, a crisis hotline, or go to an emergency department. If you are ever unsure, err on the side of safety and seek immediate help.

Because you’re in a university context, take advantage of campus resources: counseling centers often offer short-term therapy, crisis support, and referrals to longer-term care. Academic accommodations may be available if concentration and functioning are impaired; talk with your academic advisor or disability services about temporary adjustments while you get treatment.

To specifically reconnect with your creative practice, blend structure, gentleness, and community. Start with tiny, nonjudgmental creative experiments that emphasize process over product. Use a timed sketch ritual: warm-up doodles for five minutes, then one observational sketch for ten minutes, gradually building. Recreate the cafe experience at home if leaving is hard: make a travel mug, put on a playlist, sit by a window. Re-engage with the art club in low-cost ways: attend one short meeting, or contribute a small sketch to a group project without committing to leadership. Consider a creativity challenge with a friend (one small drawing a day) to rebuild accountability and social connection slowly.

Finally, track progress and be realistic about time. Recovery from depression or burnout is often gradual. Keep a simple mood and activity log to notice patterns and small gains. Celebrate tiny wins, such as one day with more regular sleep or one sketch completed. If you pursue therapy, discuss goals with your therapist and reassess medication only if recommended by a prescriber. If symptoms persist beyond several weeks despite consistent therapy and lifestyle efforts, or if they are markedly impacting your ability to study and care for yourself, escalate care by consulting a psychiatrist or primary care provider for medication assessment and possible coordinated treatment.

In short, your symptoms deserve attention and evaluation. Start with safety monitoring and a screening or intake with a mental health professional, begin psychotherapy that includes behavioral activation and values work, consider a medical evaluation for medication if symptoms are moderate to severe or not improving, and use small, structured steps to rebuild routine and creative practice. If suicidal thoughts become more active or you cannot care for yourself, seek urgent help immediately. You are not failing or alone in this; gentle, consistent steps and professional support can help you recover energy, motivation, and reconnection with your art.