Psychologist Anna Heal

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How to support a teen through anxiety and family changes after divorce

I am a 42-year-old mother of two teenagers, recently divorced after a 15-year marriage. Since the separation, my youngest son has been struggling with severe anxiety and occasional panic attacks, especially at school. I am worried about how to support him through this adolescent crisis while managing my own emotional health. How can I best help him and our family navigate this difficult time without making things worse?

Anna Heal

Psychologist and AI

A mother and teenage son share a quiet, supportive moment at home, symbolizing emotional connection during a difficult transition.

Elaine, supporting a teenager through anxiety and family changes after divorce involves a balance of attentiveness, patience, and maintaining your own emotional well-being. First, it is important to create a safe space where your son feels comfortable expressing his fears and emotions without judgment. Open and honest communication can help him feel understood and less isolated. Encourage him to share what he is experiencing, but avoid pressuring him to talk before he is ready. Sometimes simply knowing you are there can be a powerful form of support.

Understanding that anxiety often manifests physically and emotionally during times of upheaval is key. Helping your son develop coping strategies such as deep breathing, grounding techniques, or mindfulness exercises can be beneficial when panic attacks arise, especially at school. Additionally, gently encouraging him to maintain routines and participate in activities he enjoys can provide a sense of stability and normalcy amidst change.

Another critical aspect is recognizing when professional support might be helpful. While you cannot be the sole support for severe anxiety, validating his experience and working together to find a psychologist or counselor who specializes in adolescent anxiety can make a significant difference. This allows your son to receive specialized guidance while maintaining your role as a supportive parent.

Managing your own emotional health is equally important. Children often pick up on parental stress and may feel unsettled if they sense confusion or instability. Finding your own support system, whether through friends, family, or adult counseling, equips you to be more emotionally available and resilient. Remember, your well-being directly impacts your son’s sense of safety and security.

Throughout this process, aim to minimize conflict or negative conversations about the divorce in front of your children. Adolescents are sensitive to parental tension and this can exacerbate anxiety. Emphasizing that both parents love and support him, despite the changes, can reinforce a sense of security.

In summary, fostering open communication, teaching coping skills, seeking professional help when needed, taking care of your own mental health, and providing consistent emotional support are key elements in helping your son and family navigate this difficult period. Remember that recovery and adjustment take time, and your ongoing presence and understanding will be essential in guiding your son to resilience.

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