Psychologist Anna Heal

I am 41, a woman, and lately I have been struggling to trust my own judgment in everyday situations. A few months ago, I joined a community choir even though I have always been nervous about singing in front of others. I enjoy rehearsals, but when the director asks for volunteers to lead a warm up or try a solo, I immediately assume everyone else is more capable. I compare my voice and appearance with the other singers, then replay small mistakes for hours after I get home. This self doubt is spilling into other parts of my life. I often agree with friends even when I have a different opinion, because I worry they will think I am difficult. At work, I hesitate to share ideas unless I have checked them repeatedly, and I feel embarrassed when I need help. I know that making mistakes is normal, but knowing this has not stopped me from being harsh with myself. I would like to feel more at ease being seen and heard, without needing constant reassurance or pretending to be confident. What small steps can help me build genuine self esteem and speak up more comfortably, especially when I feel compared with others?