Psychologist Anna Heal

Hello Liam. Thank you for sharing this. It is very insightful that you are connecting your art, financial stress, and eating habits. This is a powerful starting point for using creativity as a tool for self-understanding and change. Let's explore how you can use your artistic practice to map and manage this cycle.

First, consider creating a dedicated art journal for this exploration. Instead of drawing randomly, you could start by making visual maps of your stress cycle. You might draw a circle and divide it into sections: the worry about money, the urge to draw, the moment of reaching for food, the feeling of guilt. Use colors, shapes, and symbols to represent the intensity of each feeling. This externalizes the pattern, putting it outside of you so you can observe it. The act of drawing it can create a pause in the automatic cycle, giving you a moment of awareness between the feeling and the action.

You can use art to investigate the specific feelings about money. What does financial insecurity look like to you? Is it a heavy, dark shape? A tangled knot? A barren landscape? Draw that. Then, on the same page, draw what financial security or feeling supported would look like. This is not about realistic budgets, but about the emotional contrast. This practice can help separate the emotional fear from the practical reality. Often, the anxiety is a vague cloud, and giving it a form makes it feel more manageable and less overwhelming.

Regarding the stress-eating during drawing, this is a crucial link. Art can be used to explore the hunger you feel. Is it actually physical hunger, or is it a desire for comfort, distraction, or a reward? Before you start drawing, you could do a quick two-minute sketch of how your body feels. Then, when the urge to eat arises mid-drawing, pause and make a mark on your paper representing that urge-a jagged line, a frantic scribble. This ritualizes the pause and creates observation. Over time, you may see patterns: perhaps the eating urge comes when the drawing feels frustrating, or when you think about your job. The art becomes a record of your internal state.

You could also experiment with changing the ritual. Set up your drawing space with a glass of water and a healthy snack beforehand. Use materials that engage your senses differently-modeling clay or charcoal that gets your hands dirty-which might satisfy some of the same sensory needs as eating. The goal is not to never eat while drawing, but to break the association of art time with mindless bingeing. You are retraining your brain's habits.

Finally, consider using your art to envision small, manageable steps. Draw a comic strip of yourself taking one positive action, like researching a financial aid program for art courses, or preparing a healthy snack. The act of drawing a positive outcome can build neural pathways for hope and agency. Remember, you are using art not just for escape, but as a diagnostic and transformative tool. It is a safe space to confront these difficult feelings without judgment. Be patient with yourself. This is a process of learning your own emotional language through the lines and colors you create.