Psychologist Anna Heal

Marcus, what you're describing-feeling numb, detached, and lacking interest in things that once mattered to you-can be very distressing and confusing. These experiences may sometimes be a part of what people call a midlife slump, which can involve questioning life choices, feeling stuck, or simply being overwhelmed by responsibilities without clear emotional distress like sadness. However, your description also aligns closely with symptoms often seen in depression, especially forms that don't always feature classic sadness but instead create a sense of emptiness, detachment, and fatigue.

The difficulty in caring about things, feeling like you're watching your life from behind glass, and the feeling that even small decisions are too hard are important clues. Depression can manifest as a loss of interest or pleasure in activities and a marked decrease in energy or motivation, not necessarily sadness. It’s important to understand that these feelings do not reflect a character flaw or weakness but are a sign that your emotional wellbeing needs attention.

Distinguishing between a midlife slump and depression can be tricky without professional assessment, but it’s worth noting that if these feelings have persisted for weeks or months and impact your daily functioning, it is likely more than a normal phase. Midlife challenges can trigger reflection and some low mood, but when numbness and detachment dominate and interfere with your engagement in life, this points towards a mood condition like depression.

To start reconnecting with your feelings and motivation, a first step could be acknowledging these symptoms openly with yourself and possibly sharing with someone you trust. Sometimes, simply talking about what’s going on with a supportive listener can relieve some of the isolation these feelings bring. Next, consider seeking out a psychologist who works with adults, someone skilled at exploring these emotional states and helping you develop strategies to regain interest and energy.

There are several practical approaches that a psychologist might suggest, such as gradually re-engaging with activities you used to enjoy, even if they don’t feel exciting right away, setting small manageable goals, and practicing mindfulness or grounding techniques to reduce the sensation of detachment. Additionally, exploring any underlying thoughts or life stressors that might be contributing to your feelings can be helpful. Sometimes, the way we interpret our responsibilities and failures can deepen numbness, so reframing these concepts can aid recovery.

Importantly, you are not alone in this-many adults experience similar challenges, and help is available. If at any point these feelings worsen or include thoughts of hopelessness or self-harm, it is vital to seek immediate professional support. But for now, recognizing that this experience is real and valid, and that reaching out for psychological support could be an important step forward, may help you start to move toward caring and feeling connected again.