Psychologist Anna Heal

Hello Marcus. Thank you for sharing your experience with such clarity. What you describe is a profound and difficult state, and it is very common to wonder whether it is depression or extreme burnout. The feelings of numbness, emptiness, and watching life from behind a glass wall are central to your question. Both conditions can share these features, but there are important distinctions that can guide the next steps.

Burnout is typically linked to chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by feelings of energy depletion, increased mental distance from one's job, and reduced professional efficacy. You describe going through the motions, missing deadlines, and a lack of engagement your team notices, which strongly points to occupational burnout. The apathy and loss of passion for work you once loved are hallmark signs. However, when these feelings of numbness and emptiness extend beyond work into all areas of life, such as your hobbies and connection with your wife, it suggests the experience has generalized. This is a key indicator that it may be more than burnout alone.

Depression, or a major depressive episode, often involves a pervasive low mood or loss of interest or pleasure in almost all activities. You mention not feeling sad exactly, but a heavy numbness and emptiness. This emotional numbness and emptiness can be a primary symptom of depression, sometimes referred to as anhedonia, which is the inability to feel pleasure. The sense of pointlessness you describe and the feeling of being stuck for six months are significant. When low energy and disconnection persist across multiple life domains and begin to impair functioning, as it clearly has in your work and personal life, it meets criteria for clinical concern.

In practice, burnout and depression are not mutually exclusive. Prolonged, severe burnout can be a pathway into a depressive episode. The heavy numbness and glass wall sensation you describe is a profound signal from your mind and body that something is deeply out of balance. It is a call for attention and care. The first and most critical step is to consult with a healthcare professional, such as your primary care doctor or a licensed psychologist, for a proper assessment. They can help differentiate between these conditions and rule out any physical health issues that might contribute to fatigue and apathy.

To start caring again when trying feels pointless, the approach often involves very small, manageable steps. In therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, we might explore the thoughts fueling the sense of pointlessness and gently challenge them. Behavioral activation is a core technique, which involves scheduling simple, rewarding activities to slowly rebuild a sense of engagement and mastery, even if you do not feel the motivation initially. This could mean a five minute walk or sanding a small piece of wood. It is also crucial to address workplace stress directly, whether through setting boundaries, discussing workload with a supervisor, or considering a leave of absence. Opening up to your wife about the depth of your experience, perhaps even sharing what you wrote here, can begin to reduce the isolation. Remember, the goal is not to jump back to your old passion immediately, but to create tiny cracks in that glass wall through consistent, compassionate action and professional support.