Psychologist Anna Heal

Hello Lina, thank you for sharing your experience. It is very common to face challenges when adapting to a new work environment, especially after a significant life change like a move. The feelings of not fitting in and the impact on motivation are understandable reactions to this period of transition. The core of your situation involves navigating a new social and professional culture while maintaining your sense of self.

First, I encourage you to practice observational patience. Spend the next few weeks primarily watching and listening. Pay close attention to the team's communication rhythms, preferred channels like email or instant messaging, and the unwritten rules about formality and humor. This is not about changing who you are, but about gathering data to understand the new environment's norms. Simultaneously, practice self-compassion. Acknowledge that this is a difficult adjustment and that it is okay to feel unsettled. Your authentic self is not being lost; it is simply in a process of acclimatization.

To improve interactions, consider initiating low-stakes, one-on-one connections. You might ask a colleague for a brief coffee chat or for their perspective on a work project. Use these moments to express genuine curiosity about their role and experience. This can build rapport without requiring you to immediately master group dynamics. When communicating, you can bridge styles by using clarifying questions. For instance, if instructions seem vague, you might say, 'To make sure I'm on the same page, could you outline the key priorities for this task?' This demonstrates engagement and helps you align with expectations.

It is also important to identify and nurture your internal anchors. These are the core values, strengths, and professional practices that define your authentic self. Perhaps you value thoroughness, creativity, or collaboration. Look for ways to express these values within the new framework. If you are collaborative, you might propose a shared document for a project. This allows you to contribute meaningfully without mimicking others entirely. Additionally, seek out small wins and tasks you can complete confidently to rebuild a sense of competence and job satisfaction.

If the feelings of isolation persist, explore whether there are any affinity groups or social events at the company. Sometimes, connecting with people from different teams can provide supportive relationships. Finally, reflect on what 'fitting in' means to you. Is it about being liked, being respected, or being effective? Often, focusing on professional respect and contribution, rather than social assimilation, can reduce pressure and allow your authentic strengths to shine through over time. Remember, adaptation is a process, not an event, and it is possible to find a comfortable balance between integrating into a new culture and staying true to yourself.