Psychologist Anna Heal

Maya, what you describe sounds very understandable for someone entering a first professional role. A new job asks you to learn unfamiliar systems, interpret incomplete instructions, communicate with people who have more experience, and make decisions before you feel fully prepared. Feeling uncertain does not mean you are incapable. It often means that you are taking the role seriously and have not yet had enough repeated experience to trust your abilities.

Confidence is usually built through evidence rather than waiting for a particular feeling to arrive. Each time you prepare for a meeting, ask a useful question, complete a task, handle a problem, or receive constructive feedback, you collect evidence that you can function effectively in the role. Try to define confidence as being willing to act while some uncertainty is present, rather than being certain that everything you say will be perfect. This definition is more realistic and will make confidence easier to practise.

Your checking, over volunteering, and delayed requests for feedback may be attempts to prevent mistakes or disapproval. They can provide short term relief, but they also teach your mind that ordinary work situations are dangerous and that you are only safe when you over prepare. Reducing reassurance and perfectionism gradually can help confidence grow. For example, decide in advance how much time an ordinary email deserves, review it once or twice, and then send it unless there is a clear reason for further checking. You could also choose one low risk task each week to complete without excessive review, and notice what actually happens.

When instructions are vague, asking for clarification is not evidence of incompetence. It is a normal part of coordinating work, especially when a manager has not specified priorities, deadlines, standards, or ownership. You can make questions sound practical and responsible by showing what you already understand and identifying the decision you need. You might say, My understanding is that the main priority is the client schedule, and that this is needed by Thursday. Is that correct, or should I focus first on the supplier updates? Another option is, I can take this on. Could you confirm the deadline, the expected level of detail, and which other task should move down my priority list?

These questions communicate initiative rather than weakness. It may also help to summarise agreements in writing after a conversation. A brief message such as, Just confirming that I will contact the venue today, prepare the draft schedule by Wednesday, and bring any risks to Friday's meeting, can prevent misunderstandings and create a useful record. If your manager remains consistently vague, you may need a regular short meeting to review priorities, deadlines, obstacles, and upcoming decisions.

Speaking in meetings can be practised in small steps. Before each meeting, prepare one observation, one question, or one brief update. Aim to contribute early, even if your contribution is simple, because waiting for the perfect moment often increases anxiety. You could say, I have one point to add, or, The current risk I can see is the timing of the supplier confirmation. Speaking briefly and clearly is more valuable than trying to sound exceptionally confident. If you lose your train of thought, it is acceptable to pause and say, Let me put that more clearly.

Feedback is most useful when requested before the end of a project. Instead of asking generally whether you are doing well, ask for specific information. You might ask, What is one thing I should continue doing, and what is one thing I should handle differently on the next project? Or, Could you review this approach before I develop it further, particularly the timeline and client communication? Regular feedback makes improvement ordinary rather than making it feel like a verdict on your worth.

It is also important to set limits on volunteering. Before accepting another task, check your current commitments and ask about priority. A professional response could be, I can help with that, although I am currently completing the client brief and the venue schedule. Which should come first? This protects your workload and gives your manager information needed to make decisions. Being dependable does not require being permanently available or accepting every request without negotiation.

Comparing yourself with coworkers is especially misleading when you are comparing your private doubts with their public performance. You may be seeing their practiced behaviours without seeing their mistakes, uncertainty, or support. Try replacing broad comparisons with specific learning questions. What do they do before a meeting? How do they organise information? How do they phrase updates? You can observe useful behaviours without treating another person's confidence as proof that you are behind.

A simple work record can help correct the tendency to notice only errors. At the end of each week, write down what you completed, what you learned, one problem you handled, one question you asked, and one action for the following week. Include positive or neutral outcomes that your anxious mind might dismiss. This is not about persuading yourself that everything is perfect. It is about developing a balanced picture of your performance.

Regarding whether this is normal uncertainty or a genuine mismatch, look at patterns over time rather than making a decision during a particularly stressful week. Early career adjustment is more likely when you still enjoy important parts of the work, your confidence improves gradually with practice, difficulties are connected mainly to newness, and the workplace offers some opportunity for guidance and respectful feedback. A role may be a mismatch when the core duties consistently conflict with your interests or values, the environment is persistently disrespectful or unsafe, your strengths cannot reasonably be used, or your distress remains high despite learning the role and trying appropriate communication changes.

There is also a middle possibility. You might enjoy project coordination and client work while needing a clearer manager, better training, a different team, or a workplace with more structured processes. You do not have to decide immediately whether your entire career is right or wrong. Give yourself a defined review period, perhaps several months, while making specific changes such as clarifying priorities, requesting earlier feedback, limiting excessive checking, and practising meeting contributions. Then assess your energy, learning, relationships, performance, and interest in the actual duties.

If anxiety begins to affect sleep, appetite, concentration, relationships, or your ability to attend work, or if it feels overwhelming and persistent, consider speaking with a qualified psychologist or counsellor who works with adults. Support can help you challenge perfectionistic beliefs, practise assertive communication, and distinguish realistic work problems from anxiety driven predictions. You deserve support even if your difficulties are common and even if you are functioning well.

A useful principle for now is this, your goal is not to prove that you already know everything, but to become someone who can learn, clarify, prioritise, and recover from mistakes. Those are core professional abilities. The fact that you enjoy organising projects and working with clients is meaningful evidence that the role may contain a genuine fit, even though the transition into it is currently uncomfortable.