Nhà tâm lý học Ánh Sáng

Dear Evan, thank you for sharing your struggle with such honesty. Recognizing the pattern of compulsive drinking and the accompanying denial is a significant and courageous first step. Denial often serves as a protective mechanism, shielding us from the discomfort of acknowledging a problem that feels overwhelming. In your case, telling yourself and others that you can quit anytime is a common form of denial that allows the behavior to continue. The fact that you notice a substitution with excessive snacking or phone checking is a crucial insight. This indicates that the drinking is not just about the alcohol itself, but is serving a function, such as a coping mechanism for work stress and a way to unwind. To move forward, you must gently but firmly confront this denial. This begins with a moment of radical self-honesty. You might try writing down the specific consequences of your drinking, both immediate and potential long-term effects, without judgment. This concrete list can make the abstract denial more tangible.

Acknowledging the problem is only part of the journey; building new, healthier habits is the essential next phase. Since you mention using gratitude exercises, these can be a powerful tool to shift your focus. Gratitude works by redirecting your mental focus from what you lack or what stresses you to what you already have and value. Instead of reaching for a drink to forget work stress, you could institute a new post-work ritual. This might involve taking five minutes to write down three specific things you are grateful for from that day. They can be simple, like a good cup of coffee, a completed task, or a kind interaction. This practice of cultivating mindful gratitude creates a pause between your work stress and your habitual reaction, building a new neural pathway. Over time, this pause can become a space where you choose a different action, such as taking a walk, calling a supportive friend, or engaging in a hobby.

It is important to understand that the substitution behaviors, like snacking and phone checking, reveal that the underlying need for distraction or comfort remains. Therefore, a holistic approach is needed. Alongside gratitude, consider exploring other stress management techniques such as deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or short meditation sessions. These practices address the root anxiety without relying on substances or other compulsive behaviors. Furthermore, examine your evening routine. Can you alter the environment that triggers the drinking? Perhaps changing your route home, scheduling an activity for right after work, or having a non-alcoholic beverage you enjoy readily available can help break the automatic cycle. Building healthy replacement habits is more effective than simply trying to stop an old one.

Finally, while self-help strategies are valuable, please consider the power of external support. Sharing your goal of cutting back with a trusted friend or family member can shatter the isolation that denial thrives on. They can provide accountability and encouragement. You might also explore speaking with a therapist or counselor who specializes in addictive behaviors. They can offer professional guidance and help you develop a structured plan to address both the denial and the habit formation in a safe, confidential setting. Remember, change is a process, not an event. There may be setbacks, but each effort to practice gratitude or choose a different response strengthens your ability to overcome this pattern. Your awareness is the foundation upon which lasting change can be built.